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Comedian Dave Hughes has launched a blistering and hilarious attack on his favourite AFL team in a wild appearance on Channel Seven on Wednesday night.
The 54-year-old couldn't restrain his anger over the recent performances of his club, Carlton, as they struggle through yet another poor season and reel from last weekend's loss to North Melbourne.
Hughes even referenced the murder trial of Erin Patterson, who stands accused of poisoning three people to death by feeding them deadly mushrooms, as he tore strips off the Blues on The Front Bar.
'I can't do it anymore, it's no good for my health. Every weekend from now I'm going to go to the Wonthaggi area and forage for mushrooms,' he said.
'I just think it's a healthier way. Cook them up and have a good time.'
When host Mick Molloy pointed out that the Blues have a lot of players out hurt, Hughes went off again.
Hughes had the audience and panel in stitches as he joked that Donald Trump should bomb Carlton headquarters in a wild rant about his team on The Front Bar (pictured)
Hughes (pictured with Front Bar hosts Andy Maher, Sam Pang and Mick Molloy) told viewers that eating wild mushrooms would be better for his health than following the Blues
The comedian couldn't restrain himself after the Blues fell to the lowest point of another ordinary season with a shock loss to North Melbourne last Saturday (pictured)
'Have we? Well, they're deliberately getting injured. Soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot to get out of wars,' he replied.
'Mitch McGovern, he went to hospital in an ambulance at halftime and the hospital said, "There's nothing wrong with you, mate".
'That ambulance could've been used for people who've had heart attacks.'
Host Andrew Maher then played footage of Hughes leaving Carlton's shattering round-one loss to Richmond before the final siren, setting off another series of jokes, including one referencing Melbourne's crime crisis.
'We were premiership favourites that night playing against an under-12s side. We were 41 points up and we lost,' Hughes said.
'I left with 30 seconds to go, our team left at halftime.
'I walked home that night, I did, from the MCG to St Kilda, in the dark, on my own, true story.
'I was looking for guys with machetes, I couldn't find any.'
'Hughesy' even quipped that he wants Donald Trump to send stealth bombers to Carlton's headquarters at Ikon Park
Furious fans - and even footy legend Buddy Franklin - have called on the club to sack head coach Michael Voss (pictured right)
Hughes then moved on to referencing the Israel-Iran war.
'If Donald Trump is interested, let's get one of his stealth bombers. We fully insured at [Carlton's headquarters] Ikon Park?' he said.
The shattering loss to lowly North Melbourne last Saturday has led to furious fans - and Hawks and Swans great Buddy Franklin - calling for coach Michael Voss to be sacked.
'I'm going to put this out there, I know this is a big call, I don't think he sees out the year,' Franklin said on Monday's instalment of his podcast, The Buddy & Shane Show.
'I think they've got a pretty good list, I do. I think the issue is the messaging is not getting through to the players.
'I think there needs to be change and we've said it before, we're all about the players and coaches, but I think this is a change that needs to happen, and it needs to happen ASAP.
'All of the Carlton supporters would probably say the same. I'm probably speaking on behalf of them.
'I think there needs to be a change and it'll probably happen in the next few weeks, is my tip.'
